There Is Nothing Like a Good Off-Season Hoops Story: Bobby Gonzalez

The news-ticker in the college hoops world works 24/7 nine months out of the year. During the off-season, when the ticker moves just a bit slower, stories that would usually get pushed to the back-burner get over-examined. Even if the stories are from well beyond left field, every writer, analyst and blogger in the country is talking about it, because, well, there isn't much else to talk about.

While most of the discussion and debate this off-season has been surrounding conference expansion and anything involving possible NCAA violations, there have been a handful of wildly-entertaining news stories to over-examine and debate to keep us occupied until Marathon Madness.

Troy Machir, BIAH's resident brainiac on the ridiculous and the unnecessary will be providing you with a breakdown of the most outlandish news stories of the off-season.

The summer heat can make people do some crazy things. But what happens when somebody who is already borderline crazy decides to up the ante?

Keep reading to find out.

Bobby Gonzalez goes bargain hunting

Gonzo from the Muppets was crazy and kinda funny. Dr. Gonzo from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas was crazy and kinda awesome. Bobby "Gonzo" Gonzalez from Seton Hall (formerly) was crazy and kinda even more crazy.

Bobby Gonzalez was one of the most polarizing coaches in the entire country this past year. But if you do your research, you discover that this year wasn't a fluke. Bobby Gonzalez is just crazy, and not the good type of crazy. We're talking straight-jacket/padded-room crazy.

Let's take a quick gander at what went down this past season for Gonzo and his team:

- Missouri-transfer Keon Lawrence got arrested in November for driving drunk, with a suspended license, when he crashed his car going the wrong way on the Garden State Parkway.

- Duquesne-transfer Robert Mitchell was kicked out of the program in late March for publicly blasting his head coach.

"It’s hard to stay consistent as a player, when the coach isn’t consistent”

- Two days later, Mitchell was arrested for breaking into a house and robbing eight people at gunpoint. He was charged with robbery kidnapping and burglary.

- New Mexico-transfer Herb Pope was ejected from the team's final game, an opening round lost to Texas Tech in the N.I.T for throwing a ball-tap groin-punch nut-shot low-blow to a Texas Tech player

- Gonzo went off on profanity-laced tirades against two of the best college hoops reporters in the country: Gary Parrish and Adam Zagoria.

- He also cursed out the Dean of Seton Hall's law school Patt Hobbs, stating

“Nobody’s gonna tell me how to run my motherf—ing program. Not you, not Monsignor, not Joe Quinlan. This is my f—ing program. My f—ing program,”

- Following the incident with the dean, Gonzo was fired. He then sued Seton Hall for wrongful termination, and sought to collect the remaining salary on his contract.

And to think, I haven't even gotten to the main reason Gonzo had such an exciting summer. You might be thinking, "What could Gonzo possibly do that would top all of his past problems?"

Bobby Gonzo decided to get his "Winona Ryder" on.

Yeah, that's right, Bobby Gonzalez, a former head coach who had a six-digit-salary got arrested for shoplifting. What was he stealing, you ask? Was it a flat screen TV, an Ipod, a car, or possibly a rolex watch?

Nope. Coach Gonzo got busted for stealing a purse. Call it a man purse, murse, European , a satchel or an attache case if you will. But for the sake of this argument, let's call it a purse, because well, that's what it looks like to me.

That's just ridiculous. But what's even more ridiculous is that a former D-1 coach, who made six figures a year, stole a purse.

There is no possible way a sane human being cannot think this guy is crazy. I mean, if you are going to steal something, and get caught for it, you have to go big. Steal a Porsche, steal rare jewelry, hell steal your own sports memorabilia. But for gods sake, if you are a male public figure who works in sports, don't get caught stealing a women's accessory.

Gonzalez's sister, one of his most adamant supporters, stated that the theft was just a misunderstanding. But seriously, come on, who are we suppose to believe, the high school teen who works at the Polo store, or a stark-raving-mad head coach with a history of lunacy?

Gonzalez has gained some closure recently, as he settled his wrongful termination suit with Seton Hall, and has plead not guilty to shoplifting charges.

This story would still be ridiculous even if you removed all the past digressions. I mean, what type of guy steals a purse?

The answer? The same type of guy who curses out his employers, blames players for losses, and confronts every reporter who has something negative to say about his program.

There might not be another coach in the country with a nickname as fitting as coach Gonzalez's, because after all, the man is crazy.