Final Four Saturday!!! Here are our five semi-preposterous predictions

Its finally here.

Semifinal Saturday.

If you haven't gotten your fill of Final Four chatter yet, then you are a glutton for punishment. We've seen preview after preview and more team breakdowns than Tiger Woods had blondes. We've talked about the horrors of expansion, but accepted it for what it is. We've seen lottery picks and NBDL benchwarmers declare for the draft. We've seen schools fire coaches and find a suitable hire, and we've seen schools fire coaches and strike out with every coach they offered.

There hasn't been much actual basketball played (Dayton won the dead man walking tournament NIT and VCU won the CBI), but this week sure did have its fair share of excitement and breaking news. If you weren't able to keep up, well, there's your refresher.

Now, it may be because the spirit of this upset laden tournament has gotten to us, and it may be because we've been sitting at an airport bar for the last two hours waiting on a friend to land, but if you hit the jump, you'll see our five semi-preposterous Final Four predictions.

Don't say we didn't call it:


Butler wins it all: Ronald Nored leads the Bulldogs defense, forcing Korie Lucious into 7 turnovers and a 2-12 shooting night, as Butler shuts down Michigan State. In the title game, the Bulldogs ride the wave of bandwagon fans as Gordon Hayward and Shelvin Mack both go for 25 points as Butler beats Duke. Butler students storm the floor at Hinkle Fieldhouse, and Hoosiers 2: A Bulldog Story is greenlit, starring Rob Brown as Shelvin Mack, Channing Tatum as Gordon Hayward, and Zac Efron as Brad Stevens.

Brian Zoubek wins Final Four MOP: Whenever Brian Zoubek steps on the court in this Final Four, he is going to be the biggest player on the court. And if you have been paying attention to Duke basketball the last two months, you would know that Zoubek has turned into an absolute monster on the glass and one mean SOB. Zoubek throws his weight -- and his -- elbows around en route to back to back 20-15 games, leading Duke to their fourth national title under Coach K. His beard is immediately tested for PED's.

Is that Scott Pollard?
(photo credit: GoDuke.com)

The title game is won on a buzzer beater: None of the four teams in the Final Four are really built to blow a team out. Butler relies on its defense to win games. Michigan State, without Kalin Lucas, just doesn't have the offensive firepower to blow someone out. West Virginia is probably not going to be hitting 10 threes again. Even Duke, a team that's recently been known for living and dying by the three, is winning games with their physicality this season. These are four very well coached teams that play smart basketball and understand the value of a possession. I know I'm not the only one expecting a couple of exciting games tonight.

Da'Sean Butler averages 30 ppg: Butler is a match-up nightmare in this Final Four. A natural three, he plays the two for this West Virginia team, creating all sorts of problems for opponents. If you look at the rosters of the other three Final Four teams, no one really has a perimeter player with his size or strength (I'll give you Durrell Summers, if he shows up). The thing that makes Butler so dangerous is that he can break down a defender off the dribble, but he can also play in the post and shoot a jump shot over the defender if he has a size advantage (which he will). And if this postseason has proven anything to you, Butler is as clutch and determined as they come.

Don't be surprised when Da'Sean Butler goes for 30. We tried to tell you.
(photo credit: ESPN)

Korie Lucious carries Michigan State: No one is really expecting much from Korie Lucious in this tournament. For starters, the only reason he is getting a start is that Kalin Lucas (is it just me, or does Korie Lucious sound like the alias that Kalin Lucas would use if he decided to do porn?) is out with a torn achilles. He's not a natural point guard, has had turnover issues, and is facing the best perimeter defender in the Final Four in Ronald Nored. All signs point to Lucious struggling. But keep in mind, this is the same kid that hit the buzzer-beating three against Maryland that sent Sparty to the Sweet 16. The kid has some stones, and he plays like it this weekend. Tom Izzo calls Lucious's number early and often, and the sophomore scores early and often, carrying the Spartans to the title as he averages 17 ppg and 6 apg, notching three broken ankles along the way.