William & Mary has a new (politically correct) mascot

I hate political correctness. I really do.

The College of William & Mary has been pressured for years to change their nickname/mascot/logo from "The Tribe" to something a bit less controversial. (Because heaven forbid we should give Native Americans any credit for anything.)


Their new mascot: The Griffin. But they are still going to be called the Tribe. Wait. What?

William & Mary has been at the forefront on mascot-human relations for a long time. You see, their nickname "The Tribe" has bothered many, mostly wealthy non-Native Americans who think any nickname relating to Indians is immoral.

Are you kidding me?

We still have the Florida State Seminoles (who were actually approached by a tribe representative to tell them, "listen, it's actually OK if you use our name, we aren't offended"), the Central Michigan Chippewas, the San Diego State Aztecs, Illinois Fightin' Illini, North Dakota Fighting Sioux (who sued the school when they tried to get the mascot changed), Mississippi College Choctaws and even the Bradley Braves.

This is not the first time W&M has had to deal with mascot political correctness. In 2006, they had to remove the two Indian feathers from their logo because there was a complaint of "insensitivity towards Native Americans".

The search for W&M's mascot has been going on for a long time. They have wanted to keep the "The Tribe" name and logo, but basically lose all other Native-American connections they had.

William & Mary athletic director Terry Driscoll believed that the Griffin (a mythological hybrid of part lion and part eagle) was the perfect representative for the colonial Williamsburg school.

We considered the best symbol to help represent the academic and athletic excellence of our sports teams. When you put it all together -- the grace, agility, intelligence and strength -- the Griffin really embodies everything we were looking for in a mascot.

Did you hear that? "When you put it all together - the Griffin embodies everything we are looking for in a mascot."

That's the most ridiculous thing I've heard all month. Then how come you have gone nearly 200 years and not considered a Griffin until now? The school isn't even attempting to spell Griffin the correct way. It should be the "Gryphons" or the "Griffons".

Plus, I mean, lets be serious. Griffins are fake. They never existed.

They might as well be the W&M Kathy Griffins.

Imagine if she was the actual mascot.

I'm still wondering what connection mythological beasts from ancient Greece have to do with the first American settlers on the East Coast? Did they come over on a pack of Gryphons Griffins? No they took a boat, like normal people. Was there a hidden group of elite Gryphons Griffins used for the Revolutionary War? absolutely not. Is a group of Gryphons Griffins called "a tribe", like a colony of frogs or a murder of crows? Sorry no, not that either. Hell, the griffin wasn't even the most dominant mythological hybrid there was. That honor goes to the man-eating Chimera.

If any school should be allowed to carry a native-American mascot/nickname/logo combination, it should be William & Mary. After all it is the King's College. I mean, what is this? The Hogwarts school for Witchcraft and Wizardry?

I would just like to point out that there is STILL a professional football team that goes by the name "The Redskins". Redskins is about as bad as it gets, yet they are still allowed to go 4-12 season after season?

As an expert on anything/everything nicknames and mascots, I am appalled that the university made this decision without my consultation.

In review: W&M will still be referred to as "The Tribe" but won't represent anything related to Native-Americans. Instead they will keep their boring nondenominational logo, and be referred to as an unrelated mythological hybrid.

Oh yeah, and I die a little bit on the inside.