It's all about the flow: A season worth of ridiculous hairdos

The golden rule of athletic competition is as follows: "To play good, you have to look good." Everything from color coordination of your shoes and socks, to how many buttons you snap up on your warm-up pants. Being a male-dominated sport, you would think that hair care would be one of the appearances that isn't strongly taken care of by guys running up and down a court for 40 minutes. Needless to say, hoops players are expressing themselves more than ever via the hairdo.

In the 1970s, hoops was dominated by black players with afros and white players with crew cuts and flowing locks. The 1980s saw the rise (and subsequent fall) of the fade, the mustache and afro. The 1990s were an era of change. The early part of the decade was dominated by the gheri-curl and high top fades. But sometime exactly after Allen Iverson entered the NBA, cornrows became the hairdo rage throughout the Association. I'm not going to say A.I was the developer of the cornrow, but he definitely was a pioneer. Yeah that's right, Allen Iverson was a pioneer of athletic hairstyle.

But Something happened in the new millennium. Players started to not give a damn, and thus, we were given some of the most bizarre hairdos we had ever seen. Maryland's Bambale Osby and Illinois State's Osiris Eldridge immediately come to mind. This season has been no different. Players from across the country are spending time off the court preparing their domes for game day. Some of the hairdos are cool, some intriguing, and others are down-right hilarious.

We here at BIAH pride ourselves on researching the unnecessary or unimportant. That is why it gives me great honor to present you with our list of the most ridiculous and intriguing hairdos of the 2009-2010 season. If you find any hairdos that you think deserve recognition, email contactBIAH@gmail.com or hit us up on Twitter.


Alex Richman - Prairie View A&M

Alex Richman has the most ridiculous hairdo in college basketball. End of story. Take a look at this guy, and come back to this post and convince me that you didn't fall over laughing when looking at this guys picture. I mean no disrespect to Mr. Richman whatsoever, but this is just ridiculously absurd. What are those? dreadlocks? cornrows? extensions? If Alex Richman wasn't born in a hippie commune, then we have some serious questions that need to be answered.


I mean first of all, he's white. Now, not that white athletes cannot sport cornrows/dreadlocks/extensions, but if you are going to go that route, you have to be damn sure you can pull it off, and unfortunately, I don't think our friend here can. Second of all, even if he were not white, this hairdo would still look ridiculous. It looks like he has beads woven in at the bottom of each dread a la the Williams sisters in the late 90s. But despite what we think about Alex Richmond's hairdo we must be able to recognize that his is the best in all of college basketball. It doesn't matter if he got it braided on a spring break cruise to the Bahamas or not. It's just ridiculous.

But in all fairness, Richman should get some recognition for his basketball skills. He hit eight 3-pointers in a game last year against, wait for it, Southwestern Assemblies of God University. I'm not sure if he takes that as a compliment or an insult.


Sean Atupem - Mt. St. Marys

Ladies and gentlemen, it is an honor, nay a privilege, to introduce you to Sean Atupem. If you are unfamiliar with Atupem's work, don't be discouraged because, as the fourth leading scorer (which actually doesn't make you a leading scorer at all) for Mt. St. Mary’s his game doesn't exactly get him nationwide recognition. However, Atupem is the owner of the one of the best heads of hair in the entire college hoops world. A cross between Nino Brown from New Jack City and the Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Atupem's hair is single-handily bringing the mid-80's signature hairdo back in style. I had a chance to see Atupem live in action, and I spent 40 minutes staring at nothing but his awe-inspiring hairdo. Seriously people, it's a sight to see. Somewhere in the world Wesley Snipes is shedding a single tear.


The hairdo phenomenon that swept through college basketball last year was that ridiculously stupid fo-hawk that everybody and their mothers had. But this year, we are seeing a surprising amount of flat-tops, a much more appropriate hairdo selection for college hoops, hearkening back to the age of hi-socks, hi-tops, and booty shorts. Sean Atupem could never score another basket for the rest of his career and I would be totally satisfied with the contribution he made to college basketball.


Stanley Robinson - UConn

If it not for our previous two entries, "Sticks" would be in total control of "Best Head of Hair". He has a combination of creativity and style. He likes to mix up his hairdo, sometimes rocking long cornrows that run down his neck, the "Allen Iverson" cornrow swirl, and even his current concoction, "the thoroughbred". Seriously, I saw Robinson up close earlier this month and his head looks like a manicured mane of a race horse. But "Sticks" does just about whatever he wants on the court, so I won't further question his style.



Steven Gray - Gonzaga

Often confused for Lionel Ritchie, Gray has one of the more impressive heads of hair in the country. At the beginning of the season, he chose to wear his hair out, in a lightly-picked afro/beard combination that got two thumbs up from yours truly and made some question how long he's been secretly starring in the Geico caveman commercials. Currently, Gray is experimenting with some sort of LeVance Fields-esque cornrowed dreadlocks. Nonetheless BIAH supports all decisions made concerning hair follicles of Steven Gray.


Gary McGhee - Pittsburgh

When the Panther's big man stands on the court, people notice him. Not because of his boxed 6'10, 250lb frame, but because he has the same head of hair that made Medusa famous. Seriously it looks like he has garter snakes coming out of his head. One would think a hairdo like this would become troublesome trying to control it on the court, but McGhee seems to be doing just fine. He does keep his tuft of hair wrapped up pretty tight, and it almost looks like a big broccoli stalk you get at the grocery store. I like McGhee's 'do because he keeps it under control. If the braids were any longer, they would sway back and forth and get in peoples eyes and other not-very-fun aspects of playing sports against people with long hair.


Take a good look at McGhee, and tell me you don't immediately think of the "predator".


Kenneth Faried - Morehead State

Kenny Faried has more hair per volume than anyone in the country. I used to confused him with Whoopi Goldberg. From a far it might look like Faried has the full "Steven Segal" jet-black pony-tail. But up close, his head of hair looks like it belongs on a Marley.


Matt Bouldin - Gonzaga

Steven Gray's partner-in-crime is also the owner of the trademark Gonzaga shag. If you are white, a good shooter, and play at Gonzaga, you are responsible to carry on the tradition that is the Gonzaga shag. Dan Dickau had it, Adam Morrison had it, and for what seems like 7 years, Matt Bouldin has had it. The hairdo is about as much of a staple of the Gonzaga program as winning the WCC is. Bouldin's hairdo is somewhere to the right of the lacrosse flow and to the left of the Frodo Baggins bowl cut.


My problem with his hairdo is that it always looks like a wet mop. I mean, I sweat a lot, but I swear, Bouldin's hair is soaking wet well before tip-off every game. But I don't know, maybe he's just a sweaty guy. As somebody who perspires just waiting for take-out food, I can tell you, some people don't need a reason to sweat. It just happens. There is no answer for the question "why do you sweat so much?" I don't know, can you direct that question towards my endocrine system? My personality isn't in control of that function. This seems to be the same case with Bouldin, I think. But I digress. No more lecturing on perspiration. I swear.


Edgar Sosa - Louisville

The senior guard at Louisville makes this list for one reason: his shape-up. Over the years I have become enamored with Edgar Sosa's head. I kid you not, every time Sosa steps on the floor, he has a brand new, freshly-cut shape-up. Sosa's guard play has been shaky at times, but we cannot question his loyalty and commitment to making sure he looks fresh-to-death when he steps on the court. Often confused for hip-hop sensation Drake, Sosa is "last name ever, first name greatest" when it comes to looking fresh on the hardwood.



Brock Young - East Carolina

I'm not going to lie to you. I don't know that much about Brock Young. I stumbled across his name doing some research and I was pleasantly surprised. Young has a lot of hair, like some of previous entries. What makes Young different is that he decided to not really do anything special with it. Young is clearly being economic. He knows it costs money and time to have his hair done, so he instead slicks it back, tightly supports it and goes to work. I like this guy's style.


Greivis Vasquez - Maryland

Vasquez just recently re-adjusted his hairdo so he is some-what of a late addition. It appears that he is now rocking some sort of reverse mullet/mohawk. Perhaps it was the change in hairdos that has sparked Vasquez's resurgence as one of the best guards in the country. I've never been a fan of Greivis, but this new hairdo of his gets two thumbs up from yours truly. Now I won't be as hesitant to change channels when the Terps are on. Plus, Cristiano Renaldo would be very jealous.


Michael Dixon Jr. - Missouri

Here we have a more controlled version of Alex Richman's disaster. Mr. Dixon sports nine thick cornrows that run from forehead all the way to his neck. I've never been a fan of these type of cornrows, as I would prefer a picked-out afro instead. But whatever, it's not my decision. If Michael Dixon wants to look like Da Brat, that’s fine with me.


Alex Tyus - Florida

I imagine this is what Gary McGhee's hair would look like if he didn't keep it under control. Tyus makes the list because he has added a nice goatee to go along with his wildman hairdo. I would not want to have to fight for a rebound with this guy, for fear of getting whipped in the face by 20 pairs of shoelaces. But the best part about the Tyus mane is his receding hairline. Seriously, at some point, some has to sit down with this young man, and explain to him that he is losing his hair. I find myself wondering if they fall out one braid at a time.


Marquis Navarre - Montana State

Oh man is this an awesome hairdo. It slightly resembles Sean Atupem's but clearly, Mr. Navarre's hairdo is much taller and more extravagant than Atupem's. I mean, this guy has the gusto to use this haircut as his everyday hairdo, and I commend him for that. I imagine that Kid n' Play do as well. Anyone up for a House Party?


I mean, Sean Atupem's hairdo is awesome, but Marquis' might actually be better. It's got to be at least five inches in height, but it stays the same thickness the whole way, plus he's got the solid delineation between scalp and hair line. I didn't go to barber college, but in my best guesstimation, I'd say that Marquis Navarre has terrific hair.


Doneal Mack - Memphis

Mack has become the NCAA poster boy for shaved head designs. It is very hard to keep up with Mack, because it seems like every game he has a new portrait etched onto the back of his skull. If anyone has insight as to what exactly is on the side/back of Doneal Mack's head please let us now, as it is likely to change soon.


Ater Majok - UConn

In his second year as a member of the Huskies (first as a contributor), Majok decided to step his game up. Not only on the court, but in the presentation department. He got rid of his tight afro in favor of a cornrow style once supported by Stanley Robinson. But Majok's dome is much larger than Robinson's so the hairdo looks completely different.


At a first glance, my initial reaction was that Majok played the alien alongside Sigourney Weaver (which made his matchup with Gary McGhee last week Alien vs. Predator, how did ESPN not market this?!?), but after watching Majok play more often, I have determined that he best resembles another killing machine: DeeJay from Street Fight II. Then again, DeeJay hails from Jamaica, and Majok is from Australia via Sudan. So once again my reference is not at all close. Oh well, I tried.


Derrick Caracter - UTEP

By no means is Caracter the only player in the country sporting this hairdo. In fact, too many players are sporting this hairdo. Caracter makes the list because his mohawk is more defined than any other in the country (of course, I challenge you to prove me wrong). I hate these "fo-hawk" hairdos. If you are going to rock the mohawk, you have to give it 100%. Great Americans like Mr. T represented the mohawk with dignity and class. You wouldn't want to piss off Mr. T, would you?


Derrick Caracter pities all you fools for doubting his comeback.


Devin Booker - Clemson

The younger brother of power forward Trevor Booker, Devin has done a tremendous job stepping out from behind big brother's shadow. How you ask? By sporting one of the coolest hairdos of the season.



(I couldn't find a better picture, but either trust me or watch a Clemson game, because the party is definitely in the back.)

Like I mentioned early, fo-hawks are pretty lame, but properly done mohawks can be spectacular. What Devin has created on his dome-piece is of spectacular design and quality. B.A Baracus would be very very proud of what Devin has done to his head. I'm a big fan of eccentric mohawks having tried one myself during my sophomore season in college. In Fact, Booker's haircut is probably the closet thing I've seen that resembles the mohawk I created. The one knock on Booker's hairdo is that the actual 'hawk on the top isn't that defined. Regardless, I commend Devin for even attempting something this bold, so I will look past the meager 4 ppg that he's averaging and just applaude him for his rediculously awesome haircut.


Renaldo Woolridge - Tennessee

The man they call "Swiperboy" has been playing tremendous basketball as of late, not to mention laying down some pretty popular tracks. But it wasn't his lines or his jumper that caught my eye. I'm not sure exactly how Woolridge got his dreads so small yet compact, but I imagine it took a considerable ammount of work.



I have so far been unable to think of anyone who has ever had a hairdo like this. Maybe Hasheem Thabeet? Baylor's Tweety Carter had small dreads, but they were a still allot longer than Woolridge's. Well regardless of it's originality, Renaldo's hairdo is pretty dope, to go along with his rising popularity and court pressence. I'd say that it's pretty good to be "Swiperboy" the past week or so.