Friday, January 6, 2012

#BIAHRoadTrip The Diary, Part II: Troy dies after I almost kill us

9:15 am Day 2
Quietpool HQ
Nashville, TN
Total Miles: 660

Road Trip Part-I

This post is brought to you by the Holiday Inn Express Nashville-Downtown.

I could live in Nashville.

Seriously, I could spend the rest of my life in this town. Broadway alone has enough great places to give me something to do every weekend night for a year, and while I've never been a country music fan, its certainly growing on me. The group we saw last night at Second Fiddle was just terrific. I have no idea what their name is, but they had a great lead singer, a lead guitarist that could absolutely shred and put together a bunch of mash-ups of country covers of 90's rock songs.

It was awesome.

And I'm hooked.

But Troy isn't.

You see, the road isn't the only place that Troy slept. The minute we arrived at La Casa be Forcella, Troy died. Well, not literally. He was still breathing and everything. But he certainly wasn't making it out to see a guy with hair down to his back and a cowboy hat on sing Weezer's "Beverly Hills". It was kind of like what happens when you take a four-year old to a birthday party. They eat all kinds of sugar and run around like a maniac, but the minute you get them home, g'night.

That's what happened to Troy. In his defense, he didn't sleep much the night before the trip. But in the defense of Honky Tonks and dancing country girls everywhere, no one forced him to celebrate Georgetown's win over Marquette until after midnight the night before we left, either. And usually, I wouldn't be ripping Troy this badly. But when I got back last night, I found Troy lying on top of the comforter on the bed in the guest room we were crashing in lying IN the sleeping bag using all but one of the pillows we had available to us. A real team player, this guy.

(Troy's Interjection)

First of all, I did not celebrate Georgetown's win over marquette until after midnight. So right off the bat, you know Rob is going to imbellish everything that pertains to me. The reason why I didn't get any sleep the night before the trip is because I spent months upon months planning this trip, yet forgot to prepare for it.

As for the bedding fiasco, there was a slight miscommunication. If I had been given full disclosure of the sleeping situation, I wouldn't have taken all the bedding, but I had to improvise.....on 3 hours sleep.


There really isn't much to report from the remainder of our drive from DC to Nashville.

Other than the fact that I almost got us killed.

You see, I did a radio spot with 1450 am in Louisville -- The Freak Show, baby! -- and the genius in me decided that it would be a better idea to keep driving while I talked instead of pulling over and allowing Troy to hop in the control seat. Matters were complicated when I realized that, mid-interview, we were damn near out of gas. So here I am, blatantly putting our lives at risk by driving 75 mph with a phone in one hand while trying to look at Troy and read his lips while he mouths directions to the nearest gas station.

We figure out that we can get to an Exxon station by taking the next exit, so we get off the highway onto a deceivingly short exit ramp. And since I'm still talking on the phone, I don't realize that there is a stop sign rapidly approaching.

Now, I have never taken any kind of evasive driving classes, but the move that I made here was, in a word, James Bond-ish. I hit the breaks and manage to turn on a dime and take the car up on the shoulder and out of the road while two pick-ups go by at about 50 miles per hour. And I'm still on the phone.

We weren't going to be able to sit there on the shoulder while I finished talking, so I steered us in the direction of the Exxon, but the pump that I pulled up to was out of order. As I tried to swing around and find a different pump, every single one was taken and, while, I finally became overwhelmed. I threw the car in park and wrapped up the interview ...

.. while conveniently blocking traffic for everyone else trying to get gas.

Take the wheel, Troy.

(Troy's Interjection:)

Rob is a horrific driver. He's a terrible passenger and sub-par navigator, but an even worse driver. It looks like I'll be taking the wheel for the majority of this trip.

The first place that we ate when we got to Nashville last night was Famous Dave's.

BBQ chain in Nashville. It has to be good, right? Like the smokehouse equivalent of Five Guys or In-n-Out burger, correct? Well, HOW COME NO ONE TOLD ME THIS PLACE WAS AN APPLEBEE'S?!? The whole goal of this trip was to eat local. We wanted to go to the places that people in the cities we visit recommend. You know, the places that look like a hole in the wall and have a line out the door.

And we ended up at a Famous Dave's, the BBQ version of Chile's?

I am so sorry guys. Truly.

But don't worry. We made a point to let them know they sucked. Not only did I get up from the first meal I had eaten all day -- this was at 8pm central time -- to go and chat with Jeff Goodman and Bruce Pearl on XM radio, I ... actually left food on my plate!


Troy and I are fat boys. We may be tall so it stretches out our guts, but I'd be willing to bet that by the end of this trip there will be 500 lbs of human being in this car. We don't leave food on our plates. Ever.

But we did at Famous Dave's. Why is Dave famous again? I don't know.

Go to hell, Dave.


A couple of quick programming notes for this trip:

The Diary will be where you can find all of our diaries from this trip posted in chronological order. If you missed one or simply feel like rereading the entirety of our trip off-the-court, give it a click.

Pics and Vids are where we will be posting all of the good pictures we take and videos that we make along the way.

Checklist will fill you in on how we are doing on our scavenger hunt list and also keep you updated on our success in finding all 50 license plates.

And finally, all of the videos that we take along the way will be posted on our channel on youtube. You can find it here. Subscribe, por favor.


We are heading into Nashville this morning and will update you guys along the way. We've been told that Rotier's is the place to go to get lunch, so if you are there today, come find the two 6'4" guys that sound like Yankees.



Rip said...



By the end of the trip you'll be 6-10.

Anonymous said...

When you are in Nashville, the best BBQ is B&C BBQ in Melrose on Franklin Road next to the Kroger.
Famous Dave's really sucks and it is a chain out of Florida???
Come back soon for the OVC Tourney and watch Murray put a spanking on some other good teams.