The B.I.A.H "Namesmith Award" Watch List

Yup, you read that correctly.

B.I.A.H is proud to announce the releasal of our watch-list for the "Namesmith Award for Etymological Awesomeness". This award is given to the player whose performance best helps bring awareness to his awesome name.

Now you're probably wondering "Well what's the difference between the 'All-Name Teams' and the 'Namesmith' Award"?

Production. Any scrub walk-on can have a marvelous name, but only a few special players have that x-factor: the ability to have a fantastically-bizarre name and the ability to perform at a high level on the court.

Some of the guys on this list were All-Name-Team snubs, but their basketball talent and ability raises their overall profile. Trust me, the only reason any of you know about California's Bak Bak is because of the All-Name Team.

As the season progresses, we will whittle the list down so by season's end we have just ten remaining finalists, and it will be up to you, the viewers to determine the winner of the inaugural B.I.A.H "Namesmith Award".

So, after the jump we present to you our preseason watch-list of the 50 finalists for the 2011-2012 B.I.A.H "Namesmith Award".


God's Gift Achiuwa - St. John's
Raven Barber - Mt. St. Mary's
Duece Bello - Baylor
Melsahn Besabe - Iowa
Alwayne Bigby - Northeastern
Kidani Brutus - Manhattan
Jenirro Bush - Jackson State
DeAndre Cane - Marshall
Isaiah Canaan - Murray State
Finnis Craddock - Central Michigan
Markeith Cummings - Kennesaw State
Delino Dear - Toledo
TyShwan Edmonson - Austin Peay
Fuquan Edwin - Seton Hall
Festus Ezeli - Vanderbilt
Indiana Faithfull - Wofford
Novar Gadson - Rider
Scooter Gillette - Niagara
Delwan Graham - Jacksonville
Draymond Green - Michigan State
Mick Hedgepeth - Belmont
Dario Hunt - Nevada
Scoop Jardine - Syracuse
Jordair Jett - St. Louis
Vander Joaquim - Hawaii
Arsalan Kazemi - Rice
Cady Lalane - UMass
Hernst LaRoche - New Mexico State
Nurideen Lindsey - St. John's
Genesis Maciel - Hartford
Cleveland Melvin - DePaul
Four McGlynn - Vermont
Hugh Mingo - Louisiana-Monroe
Ferg Myrick - New Hampshire
Shabazz Napier - UConn
Dundrecous Nelson - Ole Miss
Orion Outterbridge - Rhode Island
Peter Pappageorge - Long Beach State
Brockeith Payne - Utah State
Jawanza Poland - South Florida
RayVonte Rice, Drake
Dartaye Ruffin - Drexel
Durrand Scott - Miami (FL)
Chace Stanback - UNLV
Dyricus Symmes-Edwards, Bradley
Chehales Tapscott, Portland State
Savalance Townsend - Arkansas-Pine Bluff
Casper Ware - Long Beach State
Storm Warren - LSU
Trey Zeigler - Central Michigan

(Like any good "Watch List", three will be a few mistakes. Let us know if you think we snubbed any superstars)

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2011-2012 B.I.A.H All-Name Team

The day you've all been waiting for is finally here.

Today is the day we release the world-renowned B.I.A.H college basketball All-Name Teams. We here at Ballin' is a Habit pride ourselves on researching material that not only wastes time but proves to be completely unnecessary. This year's selection had over 1,000 candidates, from UConn to Southeast Missouri State, and every college in between.

Who will be this year's SirValiant Brown? The next God Shamgod? After the jump, you will find the best 100+ names in college basketball.

But before you click, be on the look out for our 2011-2012 Top-50 "Namesmith Award" Watch List. This brand new award will be handed out to the player whose performance during the season best helps promote the popularity of their awesome name.

2010-2011 B.I.A.H All-Name-Teams
2009-2010 B.I.A.H All-Name-Teams


B.I.A.H All-Name Team, First Team
Orion Outterbridge, Rhode Island
Claybrin McMath, Bryant
Jordair Jett, St. Louis
Four McGlynn, Vermont
Indiana Faithfull, Wofford


B.I.A.H All-Name Team, Second Team
Kidani Brutus, Manhattan
Jabs Newby, Eastern Kentucky
Deuce Bello, Baylor
Elhanen Bone, North Carolina-Greensboro
Bubu Palo, Iowa State


B.I.A.H All-Name Team, Third Team
Deverin Muff, Eastern Kentucky
Finis Craddock, Central Michigan
Jawanza Poland, South Florida
Adonis Burbage, Central Connecticut State
Staats Battles, North Carolina State


B.I.A.H All-Name Team, Fourth Team
Grandy Glaze, St. Louis
Delbert Love, Kennesaw State
Storm Clonch, Binghamton
Blaise Ffrench, St. Peter's
Scooter Gillette, Niagara


B.I.A.H All-Name Team, Honorable Mention
Onochie Ochie, Southeastern Louisiana
Charlon Kloof, St. Bonaventure
Lincoln Vorba, Drake
Festus Ezeli, Vanderbilt
Tawaski King, Western Carolina
Trinity Fields, Iona
Galal Cancer, Cornell
Hippolyte Tsafack, Memphis
Marcellus Barkdale, IUPUI
Rakeem Christmas, Syracuse
Kiwi Gardner, Providence
Hooper Vint, UTEP
Antuan Bootle, Sam Houston State
Bak Bak, California
Beau Levesque, Saint Mary's
JayDee Luster, Wyoming
Myles Loving, Texas Southern


But that's not all. With over 3,000 D-I basketball players in the country, you know we couldn't pass up the chance to mention some classic names parenting gaffs

All That's-Not-a-Real-Name Team, First Team
Dundrecous Nelson, Ole Miss
Flenard Whitfeld, Western Michigan
Gelaun Wheelwright, Weber State
Mardracus Wade, Arkansas
Savalance Townsend, Arkansas-Pine Bluff


All That's-Not-a-Real-Name Team, Second Team
Alwayne Bigby, Northeastern
Nurideen Lindsey, St. Johns
DeMetrice Jacobs, Northwestern State
Keithtrick Denson, Texas Southern
Alandise Harris, Houston


All That's-Not-a-Real-Name Team, Third Team
Crandall Head, Illinois
Marqavese Ford, Northern Illinois
Corderio Maclin, Tennessee-Martin
Dyami Starks, Bryant
Kraidon Woods, Drake


All That's-Not-a-Real-Name Team, Fourth Team
Delwan Graham, Jacksonville
Falando Jones, Mississippi Valley State
Dartaye Ruffin, Drexel
Lazabian Jackson, Arkansas-Pine Bluff
Julysses Nobles, Arkansas


First Team All-Alliteration
Blondi Baruti, Tulsa
Hector Harold, Pepperdine
Gideon Gamble, Winthrop
Jernard Jereau, Washington
Peter Pappageorge, Long Beach State


Second Team All-Alliteration
Vertrail Vaughns, George Mason
Colton Christian, Michigan
Davonte Drinkard, Southern Illinois
Mackey McKnight, Lehigh
Mathis Monninghoff, Gonzaga


Third Team All-Alliteration
Anell Alexis, Marist
Preston Purifoy, UAB
Delino Dear, Toledo
Stallon Saldivar, Northern Arizona
Paris Paramore, Central Michigan


Fourth Team All-Alliteration
Sheridan Shayne, Idaho
Reyshawn Rembert, East Tennessee State
Orin O'Bryant, Hampton
Cannen Cunningham, SMU
Dustin Dibble, UMKC

(Go to any Delta Delta house at Vanderbilt or Clemson and you're bound to find the following names, decked out in Vinyard Vines pants, oxford shirts, and croakies, while drinking a Natty Light out of a coozie)

First Team All-SEC-Frathouse
Hugh Greenwood, New Mexico
Carson DeRosiers, Wake Forest
Keifer Sykes, Wisconsin-Green Bay
Keegan Hornbuckle, UC-Santa Barbara
Logan Aronhalt, Albany


Second Team All-SEC-Frathouse
Paxson Guest, Northwestern State
Mitch Wilmer, North Dakota
Maxwell Lenox, Army
Tristan Spurlock, Central Florida
Bryson Triggs, Nicholls State


Third Team All-SEC-Frathouse
Jud Dillard, Tennessee Tech
John Caleb Sanders, Liberty
Garrick Sherman, Notre Dame
Colt Ryan, Evansville
Caleb Ashcraft, Tennessee Martin


First Team All-Gender-Confusion
Kim English, Missouri
Elisha Justice, Louisville
Hilary Haley, Maryland-Eastern Shore
Leslie McDonald, North Carolina
Shannon Scott, Ohio State


Second Team All-Gender-Confusion
Courtney Austin, Southern Utah
Stacey Poole, Kentucky
Tracy O'Neal, North Carolina Central
Torrey Craig, USC-Upstate
Caitlin Baciu, Clemson


(For this next team, use the following phrase, along with the player's last name. That's how you'll know he's All-Name-worthy: "Umm...I guess I'll have a plate of the _____________")

First Team All-Sounds-Like-a-Food
Clint Steindl, Saint Mary's
James Fraschilla, Oklahoma
Ryan Quigtar, Miami (Fl)
Paul Gombwer, Charleston Southern
Kader Tapsoda, Texas Tech


Second Team All-Sounds-Like-a-Food
Evan Smotrycz, Michigan
Djibril Coulibaly, Manhattan
Jeremiah Samarrippas, SMU
Tyler Pontichelli, Brown
Kevin Canitol, Florida-Gulf Coast


(This next team is similar to the previous one, except this time, use the phrase: "Oh Man, I think I got a case of (the) _____________")

First Team All-Sounds-Like-a-Disease
James Loupus, Navy
Tim Abromaitis, Notre Dame
Roy Ghantous, George Washington
Nate Basaglya, UMBC
Jimmie Duplessis, Prairie View A&M

Second Team All-Sounds-Like-a-Disease
Mitch Asmus, Dayton
Evan Bruinsma, Detroit
Domas Rinksalis, Wofford
Brock Zylstra, BYU
Levan Shengalia, Rhode Island


First Team All-Appostrophe
De'End Parker, UCLA
Ja'Rob MaCallum, Milwaukee
Ge'Lawn Guyn, Cincinnati
Pe'Shon Howard, Maryland
Pi'I Minns, Hawaii


Second Team All-Appostrophe
De'Mon Brooks, Davidson
J'Covan Brown, Texas
Al'Lonzo Coleman, Presbyterian
J'Hared Hall, Loyola (Md)
Drake U'u, Cal-Poly


First Team All-Hyphen
Corey Raley-Ross, Buffalo
Rafeal Rojas-Reyes, Air Force
Dyricus Symmes-Edwards, Bradley
Kentavious Caldwell-Pope, Georgia
John Hayward-Mayhew, Cal State-Northridge


Second Team All-Hyphen
Darius Johnson-Odom, Marquette
Dexter Kernick-Drew, Washington State
Laval Lucas-Perry, Oakland
Shane Harris-Tunks, Colorado
Alexander Scotland-Williamson, UAB


All-Make-Up-Your-Mind-Team, First Team
Brockeith Payne, Utah State
Chrishawn Hopkins, Butler
JayVaughn Pinkston, Villanova
Markeith Cummings, Kennesaw State
RayVonte Rice, Drake


All-Make-Up-Your-Mind-Team, Second Team
KenDerek Washington, Alabama State
Santoine Butler, Gardner-Webb
JohnMark Ludwick, William & Mary
Dondre Wise, Arizona
Rayshawn Goins, James Madison


All-Misspelled-Team, First Team
Donivine Stewart, Bradley
Erique Gumbs, Towson
Karee Ferguson, St. Peter's
Morece Isaac, St. Fracis (Pa)
Raymoan McAfee, Bethune-Cookman


All-Misspelled-Team, Second Team
Markus Duran, Pacific
Kregg Jones, Cal State-Bakersfield
Konner Veteto, Sacramento State
Zavier Sanders, Eastern Illinois
Jermol Paul, Stetson


First Team All-Two First Names
Derek Craig, Georgia Tech
Jack Ryan, Stanford
Mike Scott, Virginia
Sam Mike, Georgia Southern
Michael Eric, Temple


Second Team All-Two-First-Names
Greg Travis, Illinois-Chicago
Miguel Paul, East Carolina
Dan Kenny, Mt. St. Mary's
Curtis Dennis, Toledo
Arnold Louis, Savannah State


(There are some names that are better off being said than written. The following is a list of those names just that roll off tongue smoothly)

Names that just sound funny to say, Team One
Assane Sene, Virginia
Toddrick Gotcher, Texas Tech
Eddie Odio, Boston College
Mamadou Datt, Duquesne
Joel Vander Pol, Liberty


Names That Just Sound Funny, Team Two
Ben Aird, Utah Valley
Matt Sauey, North Florida
Sei Paye, Texas-San Antonio
Nick Kitcoff, IUPUI
Will Brew, UC-Santa Baraba


(Some players were blessed with the gift of a fantastic last name. Unfortunately, they were also blessed with parents with no creativity. Nonetheless, there are some last names that just can't go unnoticed, no matter how boring their first name is)

All-Awesome-Last-Name-Team
Dwight Tarwater, Cornell
John Peckinpaugh, IPFW
Joe Goydish, Georgia Southern
Corey Wickware, SIU-Edwardsville
Rodney Clinkscales, SMU


Second Team All-Awesome-Last-Name-Team
Corey Littlejohn, UNC-Asheville
Jared Swopshire, Louisville
Keith Shamburger, San Jose State
Steve Tchiengang, Vanderbilt
Christian Standhardinger, Hawaii


First Team All-Prefix
LeBryan Nash, Oklahoma State
TyQuane Goard, Ohio
DuShawn Brooks, Youngstown State
DeCarlos Anderson, Manhattan
JaMychal Green, Alabama


All-Initials Team
D.C. Gaitley, Fordham
G.J. Vilarino, Appalachian State
L.C. Doss, Eastern Illinois
K.C. Caudill, Boston College
O.D. Anosike, Siena


All-No-Creativity-Team
Brian Bryant, Mississippi State
Luke Loucks, Florida State
Ella Ellis, Army
Andrew Andrews, Washington
Marc Mark, Bethune-Cookman


All-Scrabble-Team
Olek Czyz, Nevada
Vladyslov Kondratyev, Bryant
Kristers Zeidaks, Mississippi State
Nick Niemczyk, Southeast Missouri State
Xavier Bazile, Idaho


First Team All-NBA
Shawn Kemp Jr., Washington
Glenn Rice Jr., Georgia Tech
Tim Hardaway Jr., Michigan State
Reggie Lewis, Florida A&M
Avery Johnson, San Francisco


Second Team All-NBA
A.J Price, Texas-San Antonio
Terrence Williams, Charlotte
Dee Brown, Bowling Green
Marcus Thornton, William & Mary
Derrick Williams, Richmond


All-NFL Team
Chris Collinsworth, BYU
Alex Smith, Bethune-Cookman
David Carr, Portland
Shannon Sharpe, Colorado
Chad Johnson, Rutgers


All-Coaches-and-Owners Team
Jerry Jones, Duquesne
Ralph Wilson, Alabama State
Larry Brown, Winthrop
Mark Jackson, Louisville


All-Not-That-Celebrity Team
Tim Meadows, Prarie View A&;M
Sean Carter, Umass
Steve Forbes, Stetson
Brian Williams, Jacksonville State
Chris Brown, Oregon State


All-Other-Sports-Stars Team
Matt Morgan, Winthrop (TNA Wrestler)
Colby Lewis, Charlotte (Texas Rangers Pitcher)
Reggie Jackson, UC-Riverside (Mr. October)
Tim Thomas, Pacific (Boston Bruins Goalie)
Marcus Davis, Houston Baptist (former-UFC Welterweight fighter)


All-Colors-Team
Vander Blue, Marquette
Okaro White, Florida
Kauri Black, Northeastern
Rion Brown, Miami (Fl)
Garlon Green, TCU


All-City-Team
Denver Holmes, Evansville
Dallas Ouano, Villanova
Cleveland Melvin, DePaul
Conroy Baltimore, Lehigh
Montreal Scott, Prairie View A&M


All-Bible-Team
Joab Jerome, Winthrop
Isaiah Canaan, Murray State
Genesis Maciel, Hartford
God's Gift Achiuwa, St. John's
Ephraim Ekanem, Northern Arizona



Continue reading...

Shayok Shayok commits to Bradley Bradley

The Bradley Braves just added their fifth commit from the class of 20ll late this week when Canadian forward Shayok Shayok signed a National Letter of Intent to attend Bradley University.

Shayok joins the elite fraternity of double-named college basketball players like Bak Bak (Cal), Longar Longar (Oklahoma), Duany Duany (Wisconsin) and Ruben Boumtje-Boumtje (Georgetown).

With God's Gift Achiuwu committing to St. John's last week, the race for the 2011-2012 B.I.A.H All-Name Team selections just got a lot more interesting.

Just take a look at some of the names in next season's freshman class: Sir'Dominic Pointer (St. John's), Kentavious Caldwell-Pope (Georgia), Khem Birch (Pittsburgh), Rakeem Christmas (Syracuse), Duece Bello (Baylor), Jernard Jerreau (Washington), John Johnson (Pittsburgh), Ge'Lawn Guyn (Cincinnati), LeAntwan Luckett (Alcorn State), Deng Leek (Western Kentucky) Dantiel Daniels (Southern Illinois), Toddrick Gotcher (Texas Tech), Kiwi Gardner (Providence), Andrew Andrews (Washington), Rashawn Rembert (East Tennessee State), Gelaun Wheelwright (Weber State) along with many many others. Add those names to the current crop of all-namers and next year's selection process is going to be as tough as ever.

Shayok is a six-foot-six wing forward who can run the floor well but still needs to fill out his frame. Despite being six-foot-six, he weighs in at just 195lbs, so adding size and strength will be top priotrity. But The scouts and recruiting services like his length and his ability to control the glass and start transition. He chose Bradley over programs like Detroit and Duquesne.

But with a name like Shayok Shayok, what he does on a basketball court is of little concern to us.

Unless he puts up a double-double.

That will pretty much write itself.


Continue reading...

2010-2011 B.I.A.H All-Name Team

The Naismith Watch List has been released, as have the Preseason All-American teams and most conference polls. So it makes obvious sense that now is the perfect time to present our 2010-2011 B.I.A.H All-Name Team.

Here at B.I.A.H, we consider ourselves masters of the unnecessary. I might not be able to tell you what Butler's RPI was last season nor can I decipher the Sagarin or KenPom rankings. But I can tell you that the mascot of Mississippi Valley State is the Delta Devil, and that Chief Kickingstallionsims is a proud graduate of Alabama State University.

Last year's B.I.A.H All-Name Team was pretty fantastic, but I still feel as though I left out a bunch of names that just shouldn't go unmentioned. I scoured every D-1 roster and this year we've upped the ante, with close to 150 names that will make you chuckle every time you look at a stat sheet.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, the 2010-2011 B.I.A.H All-Name Team Selections

B.I.A.H. All-Name First Team

• Bracken Funk – Fresno State
• Ivory McGilvery – Texas Pam-Am
• Orion Outerbridge – Rhode Island
• An’Juan Wilderness – Charlotte
• Bak Bak - California
• Hippolyte Tsafack - Memphis*
• Alibaba Odd - Delaware State*

You know there's more after the jump. (Ed. Note: The *'s = BIAH Fails. Who else did we miss?)

B.I.A.H. All-Name Second Team

• Brockeith Pane – Utah State
• Claybrin McMath - Bryant
• Elhanan Bone – UNC-Greensboro
• Gideon Gamble - Winthrop
• Jabs Newby – Eastern Kentucky

B.I.A.H. All-Name Third Team

• Antuan Bootle – Sam Houston State
• Delrico Lane – Tennessee-Martin
• Antonio Bumpus – Utah State
• Levi Knutson - Colorado
• Onochie Ochie - Southeastern Louisiana

B.I.A.H. All-Name Fourth Team

• Junior Treasure - Texas Southern
• Kanbunga Tshinga Kasamba – Chicago State
• Keaton Nankivil – Wisconsin
• Beloved Rogers – Prairie View A&M
• Hugh Mingo – Louisiana-Monroe

B.I.A.H All-Name-Team Honorable Mention

• Daquan Brickhouse – Central Connecticut State
• Rakeem Buckles - Louisville
• Junior Cadougan – Marquette
• Robo Creps - Illinois-Chicago
• Mick Hedgepeth - Belmont
• Cart Kincade - Army
• Dallas Lauderdale - Ohio State
• Skylar McBee – Tennessee
• Shabazz Napier – Uconn
• Cephas Ogelsby – Towson
• Bubu Palo - Iowa State
• Casper Ware – Long Beach State

All-That's-Not-A-Real-Name First Team

• Gertavian Blake – Jackson State
• Savalance Townsend – Arkansas-Pine Bluff
• Quintarious Hutchinson – Alabama A&M
• Dundrecous Nelson – Ole Miss
• Shaunvanta Ingram – Alcorn State

All-That's-Not-A-Real-Name Second Team

• LaceDarius Dunn - Baylor
• YonDarius Johnson – Grambling State
• Pendarvis Williams – Norfolk State
• Bryquis Perine – UW-Green Bay
• Mardracus Wade - Arkansas

All-That's-Not-A-Real-Name Third Team

• Alwayne Bigby – Northeastern
• Dartave Ruffin – Drexel
• Vertrail Vaughns – George Mason
• Leventrics Grey – Jacksonville State
• Jimmer Fredette – BYU

All-That's-Not-A-Real-Name Fourth Team

• Falando Jones – Mississippi Valley State
• Amaryus Fermin – Cal-Ploy
• Junard Hartley - Campbell
• Verkeneo Mann – Tennessee State
• Lavoris Weathers – Arkansas-Pine Bluff

All-That's-Not-A-Real-Name Honorable Mention

• Latreze Mushatt – Murray State
• Kyheim Hall – St. Francis (PA)
• Quinard Jackson – UNC-Ashville
• Crandall Head – Illinois
• Zavion Neely – Illinois-Chicago
• Dytanya Johnson – NJIT
• Kraidon Woods - Drake
• Benzor Simmons - Tennessee-Martin
• Alzee Williams - North Texas
• Charvez Davis - Alabama

All-Alliteration First Team

• Blondy Baruti - Tulsa
• Holton Hunsaker - Utah Valley
• Dustin Dibble – UMKC
• Lekendric Longmire - Oregon
• Steadman Short - Ole Miss

All-Alliteration Second Team

• Davante Drinkard - Southern Illinois
• Dodie Dunson - Bradley
• Orin O'Bryant - Hampton
• Hector Harold - Pepperdine
• Rupert Rose - Grambling State

All-Alliteration Third Team Team

• Johndre Jefferson - South Carolina
• Preston Purifoy - UAB
• Perry Petty - Texas Pan-Am
• Paris Paramore - Central Michigan
• Heath Houston - Virignia Commonwealth

All-Alliteration Fourth Team

• Luke Loucks - Florida State
• Chase Creekmur - Arizona State
• Mikhail McLean - Houston
• Preston Purifoy - UAB
• Matt Milk - St. Francis (NY)
• Coy Custer – Lamar

All-Apostrophe First Team

• Sai'Quon Stone - Southern Mississippi
• Jer'Vaughn Johnson - Cal-State Fullerton
• De’Mon Brooks – Davidson
• Pe’Shon Howard – Maryland
• Ja’Rob McCallum – UW-Milwaukee

All-Apostrophe Second Team

• La’Ryan Gary – Louisiana-Lafayette
• J’Covan Brown – Texas
• Du’Vuaghn Maxwell – High Point
• D’Walyn Roberts – Texas Tech
• A’uston Calhoun – Bowling Green

All-Apostrophe Third Team

• D’Aundray Brown – Cleveland State
• La’Shard Anderson – Boise State
• J’Hared Hall – Loyola (MD)
• Toure’ Murry – Wichita State
• Tre’Von Willis – UNLV
• De’Angelo Speech – CCSU

All-Misspelled-Name First Team

• Chehales Tapscott – Portland State
• Justan Banks – Alabama A&M
• Stephawn Brown – Alabama State
• Jazmonn Major – Jackson State
• Raymoan McAfee – Bethune-Cookman

All-Mispelled Second Team

• Tyreak Johnson – Howard
• Kregg Jones – CS-Bakersfield
• Julyan Stone – UTEP
• Kamyron Brown – Nebraska
• Markeys Deans – Central Connecticut State
• Erique Gumbs - Towson

All-Prefix First Team

• JerShon Cobb – Northwestern
• LaShay Page – Southern Miss
• LaBradford Franklin – San Diego State
• DuShawn Brooks – Youngstown State
• TeAllen Price – Texas Southern

All-Prefix Second Team

• DaMetrius Upchurch – North Carolina A&T
• JaMychal Green – Alabama
• DeAntre Jefferson – Chattanooga
• JohnTavious Rucker – Georgia Southern
• LaMarcus Lowe – Detroit

All-It's-Too-Bad-he-Wasn't-A-Pro-Wrestler-Or-Pornstar First Team

• Howard Hurt - East Carolina
• Stargell Love – Baylor
• Cadarian Raines – Virginia Tech
• Carter McMasters – Liberty
• Scott Wood – North Carolina State

All-It's-Too-Bad-he-Wasn't-A-Pro-Wrestler-Or-Pornstar Second Team

• Genesis Maciel – Hartford
• Rayne Hage – Fordham
• Booker Hucks - Long Island
• Storm Warren – LSU
• Cor-J Cox – Mississippi Valley State
• Raven Barber - Mount St. Mary's

All-His-Parents-Never-Gave-Him-A-Chance First Team

• Isaac Butts – Appalachian State
• Stephen Lumpkins – American
• John Peckinpaugh – IPFW
• Deverin Muff – Eastern Kentucky
• Keith Shamburger – San Jose State

All-His-Parents-Never-Gave-Him-A-Chance Second Team

• Kazadi Nyanquila – New Hampshire
• Givon Crump - Fresno State
• Dwight Tarwater – Cornell
• Eric Rippletoe – Southern Utah
• Finis Craddock – Central Michigan

All Last-Name-First-Name First Team

• Cleveland Melvin – DePaul
• Wakefield Ellison – East Carolina
• Carrington Tankson – Southern Miss
• Dockery Walker – Brown
• Sterling Melville – Colgate

All Two-Last-Name-First-Name Second Team

• Langston Galloway - St. Joseph's
• Holden Mobely - Belmont
• Ridge Graham - Stetson
• Chalmers Rogers – USC-Update
• Kerwin Dunham - Northern Iowa

All-Juan Team

• Jawan Nelson – Texas A&M CC
• Juwan Staten – Dayton
• Ja'Juan Johnson - Purdue
• Jauwan Scaife – Ball State
• Jawaan Alston – Buffalo
• Jewaun Long – Murray State

All-Amalgomated Team

• JohnMark Ludwick – William & Mary
• Markeith Cummings – Kennesaw State
• Kieondre Arkwright – Texas-Pan-Am
• Denderek Washington – Alabama State
• Julysses Nobles – Arkansas

All-NBA Team

• Tim Hardaway Jr. - Michigan
• Juwan Howard Jr. - Western Michigan
• Emeka Okafor Jr. - Western Illinois
• Glenn Rice Jr. - Georgia Tech
• Isaiah Thomas - Washington
• Avery Johnson - San Fransisco

Continue reading...

2009-2010 College Basketball Season Preview: All-Name Teams

Kevin Pittsnoggle.

Ruben Boumtje-Boumtje.

Pops Mensah-Bonsu.

I'm sure I'm not alone when I say that a number of my favorite college hoopers of all-time are on that list simply because they had names that were, well, memorable.

With last season's clear-cut champ Chief Kickingstallionsims graduating, who will be this years best-named players?

All-Name First Team

Bak Bak, California
Just-in'Love Smith, Siena
Alibaba Odd, Deleware State
Blaise Ffrench, UTEP
Orion Outerbridge, Rhode Island

Ffrench's twitter name is JusBlaise.
(photo credit: Nathan Blue)

All-Name Second Team

Ja'Rob Macallum, UW-Milwaukee
Papa Guise, Cal St Fullerton
Colt Idol, Montana State
McIntoshe Alcius, Winston Salem
Lex Mongo, UMass

Ja'Rob McCallum played pick-up with La'Barack Obama.
(photo credit: daylife)

All-Name Third Team

Eni Cuka, North Florida
Duke Mondy, Providence
Chron Tatum, Idaho State
Wquinton Smith, Wisconsin
Dera Nd-Ezuma, Rider

All-Name Fourth Team

Nimrod Tishman, Florida
Magnum Rolle, Louisiana Tech
Bol Kong, Gonzaga
Mick Hedgepeth, Belmont
Storm Warren, LSU


So there you have it. The best 20 names in college basketball. But after going through the rosters of some 344 teams, there were more than just 20 guys with notable names.

Here are your honorable mentions.

All-Apostrophe First Team

Drake U'u , Cal Poly
An'Juan Wilderness, Charlotte
P'Allen Stinnett, Creighton
Sai'Quon Stone, Southern Mississippi
Da'Veed Dildy, Stanford

All-Apostrophe Second Team

De'Shaud Johnson, East Tennessee State
D'Walyn Roberts, Texas Tech
Jer'Vaughn Johnson, Cal. State Fullerton
La'Shard Anderson, Boise State
La'Ryan Gary, Louisiana-Lafayette


All-Sounds-Like-A-Disease Team

Tim Abromaitis, Notre Dame
Larry Gorganious, UC-Riverside
Mantoris Robinson, Winthrop
Zisis Sarikopolous, Ohio State
Dinko Marshavelski, Northeastern


All-Parents-Couldn't-Decide-On-A-Name Team

JohnMark Ludwick, William & Mary
JohnDre Jefferson, South Carolina
Markeith Cummings, Kennesaw State
Ella Ellis, Army
Gary Garris, NJIT


All-Edible Team

Cosmo Morabi, Citadel
Pawel Kielbasa, Chicago State
Derwin Kitchen, Florida State
Montarrio Haddock, Middle Tennessee State
Greg Danish, LaSalle


All-Inanimate-Object Team

Radar Onguetou, New Hampshire
Ivory McGilvery, Texas Pan-Am
Moussa Camara, Binghamton
Trinity Fields, Iona
J'hared Hall, Loyola (MD)


All-Misspelled-Name Team

Aaric Murray, La Salle
Rotnei Clarke, Arkansas
BeJay Corley, Mercer
Jarrid Famous, South Florida
Erique Gumbs, Towson
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